"Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”


If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.


Iwonderifanyoneknowswhatthebigstickatthebottomofthekeyboardisfor?


People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish 


A brain has two parts: the left part and the right part. My left brain has nothing right, while my right brain has nothing left


video games ruined my life. at least i have 2 left


When cheese gets it’s picture taken what does it say?


I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then i eat it


if you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!